“…and what will remain is who you are.” I find that an interesting thought. But why should I have to let go of anything? Don’t I already know who I am?

In today’s busy world, I think the answer is often no. Instead we tend to take cues from the outside world as to who we should be. Trouble is the outside world often has its own agenda.

The marketing industry has a vested interest in ensuring we’re never satisfied with who we are. We always need one more product or one more service (if not more than one). So, letting go is the last thing we need to do. Rather, we should be chasing after yet one more thing. Really?

Other people are another source of who we might be. But, if we look to them, we often find they have an idea of who they need us to be. We should at least be meeting their expectations. And, if we’re contemplating change, they may find this potentially threatening. They may need us to stay the same. Really?

Whenever we look outside, we tend to get examples of who we’re not—at least not yet. And so we keep striving. But what happens when we let go of looking outside and look inside?

When we do this, we stop trying to compare ourselves with anything. We let go of trying to be anything we’re not—and instead discover who we are. It was there all along. The striving stops. Peace and serenity follow. Our actions are no longer attempts to reach for something, or try to possess something, or strive to be something. Instead they are simply natural expressions of who we are. No striving required.

This is not an original observation. Three examples follow; one from 2,500 years ago, another from 500 years ago, and one from today.

First, 2,500 years ago the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu wrote about it in his Tao Te Ching. If you simply accept the world as it is, without taking direction from it, “the Tao will be luminous inside you and you will return to your primal self” (chapter 28). (“Primal self” is his phrase for who you already are.) “Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity” (chapter 9).

Sounds good. But exactly how do you do that? “The Master gives himself up to whatever the moment brings. He knows… he has nothing left to hold on to: no illusions in his mind, no resistances in his body. He doesn’t think about his actions; they flow from the core of his being” (chapter 50). I like that. Flow certainly sounds better than striving.

Second, 500 years ago Michelangelo referred to it when he said “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” At least, I think he’s referring to the same thing. Wait a minute. Not so fast. What’s the connection?

Lao Tzu tells us the Master has discarded any illusions he may have been holding on to. So, for me, the connection is that illusions are the chips of marble which, once removed, reveal what is there all the time. Michelangelo knew how to remove the chips of marble and reveal the angel. Lao Tzu’s Master knew how to let illusions go and live in harmony with the Tao.

Third, today Paul Coehlo writes about it when he says “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

In the case of Lao Tzu’s Master, everything that isn’t in harmony with the Tao consists of the illusions he (or she) lets go of. In the case of Michelangelo, everything that wasn’t the angel ended up as chips of marble on his workshop floor. In the case of Paul Coehlo’s journey, everything that isn’t you is what you discard in the process of unbecoming everything you’re not.

There’s the same message three times from across the centuries. In short, you don’t discover who you are by striving or by holding on. You discover it by letting go. Let go of everything you’re not, and what remains is who you are. It was there all along. “How do I know this is true? I look inside myself and see” (chapter 21, Tao Te Ching).

Could it really be that simple? That’s not to say that doing it is easy, but it is simple. Do we look outside and strive to reach and hold on to some other version of ourselves? Or do we look inside and let go of everything we’re not?

Here’s an idea to end on. Perhaps each of us has an angel inside us, and the purpose of our life is to discover our angel and set him or her free. On the other hand, perhaps this is just too corny of an idea to end on. I think I’ll risk it anyway.

Francis Pring-Mill is the author of In Harmony with the Tao: A Guided Journey into the Tao Te Ching (Star Lake Press)

www.inharmonywiththetao.com

All Lao Tzu quotes are from Stephen Mitchell’s Tao Te Ching: A New English Version.