Last Sunday was a dark, stormy day.
It was the perfect opportunity to stay at home, work, and place a tea bag in my favorite mug.
While I snuggled on my favorite couch with the laptop on my lap, I saw my husband holding our son and explaining to him how rain forms.
Staring at them with a smile on my face, I was grateful for their presence in my life. I felt blessed, but I also felt regretful.
I couldn’t help but think of all the times when I grieved the endings of some of my past relationships. I was sad, and that’s okay. But mostly, I was desperate, which isn’t entirely okay. I felt hopeless. I felt alone. I felt like the world was coming to an end and that I was possibly just an unlucky girl.
Looking back on the things that have caused me distress, I do feel regretful. I regret feeling so hopeless and helpless. I regret thinking that there would be no other beginnings or maybe something slightly better on the horizon.
I lost count of how many times I resisted change. Whatever was waiting for me—good or bad—I clearly didn’t want it. I wanted what I had. The present was too painful and the future was uncomfortably mysterious. That said, the past was the only thing that was known—secure. And so I kept craving it. Even though I couldn’t bring back the people I had lost, I kept them well and alive in my mind.
Staring at my husband and son, that moment was so perfect that I had to snap a picture of them. I wanted to remember this lesson once and for all:
When we resist change, we delay the process.
We delay the process of things perfectly falling into place. We delay the process of meeting the people we were always meant to meet. We delay the process of beauty—of ultimate happiness.
It’s normal to resist what we don’t know. It’s perfectly okay to grieve. But please don’t fall into the pit of despair. If I had known that my husband and son were waiting for me sometime, I would have felt hopeful when I was broken.
Everything in life is intentional. There are no closed roads—only bridges. So honor what has ended because it is undoubtedly leading you to what’s coming next. Slow down and allow your life to unfold naturally. When and if you do, you will save yourself so much pain and discomfort.
So please embrace your endings and overcome your resistance to change. Remember, no matter how much your present may look painful, your future definitely looks brighter.